Ishan,

It’s been a year since you have gone home to be with the Lord. I desire so badly to give you another kiss. Give you another hug. Play with you.. I miss you so much. My heart has been aching to see you again. You gave your mom and dad so much joy I cannot explain it to you.

I sometimes feel your presence so near to me but yet so far.. Everything reminds me of you. A tractor left in the neighbors yard reminds me of the time we sat you on a tractor.. Seeing the soccer ball that still sits on the deck reminds me of you. Your play room is still the same as every morning I look over from my office as I used to and your beautiful face would brighten our day.. There isn’t a day that goes by that I don’t tell you how much I love you..

Today is September 6th, 2009. I don’t know how we have carried on a year without you. I don’t know where the time has gone. All I wish is that I complete my journey on this earth to please the Lord and when my eyes close for the last time on this earth that I will be reunited with you. I yearn for your embrace. I yearn for your innocent love. I yearn for your presence. I feel like a piece of my heart left when you did. I still trying to understand why… I hope one day that I can love another the way I loved you. Although no one can replace the place you have in my heart… I cannot explain how blessed I was to be your father..

I hope I was a good father to you. I hope your looking down at us and are proud of us. I can tell you we are so proud of you. You are my hero. You came into this world and showed me compassion, love, joy, and countless other traits that I didn’t have. You showed me a world that I didn’t know existed. You opened my eyes to the need that is around us that I was doing nothing about. You have left a foot print in 2 years and 9 days that will live on longer then any of us. Your foot print will help so many because of the cause and purpose you planted in my heart.

Sometimes I feel like you came with that purpose. Sometimes I would look in your eyes and feel so undeserving of you because you were so perfect. How could I deserve such a perfect child..

I feel like I am rambling in this message but I don’t know what else to do. Son, I love you. I love you so much. I hope I told you that enough while you were here. I miss you beyond measure. On this day I miss you just as much as any other. Ishan, you are so special. You were truly an angel that came in our life.

Today has been more difficult then most. I see his presence everywhere. Please tell me it gets easier.